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well,
it's true that i was too exhausted to join the discussion today.
also probably im less confident about my english. that's true.




but when i ask myself,
"why i cannot explain my opinion in the class about media in Israel and Palestine?"

i guess that,


im still pro-Palestinian.



i havent succeeded in dividing my recognition
about PEOPLE and POLITICS in Palestine
into different folders on my head and mind.
i have to split them up.
i shouldnt be emotional when speak out about the situation.
that's what i have to possess at least
when i enter the field of peace and conflict studies.




today, when my professor said
"there are so many Palestinian media
calling Israel as a enemy, and brain-washing the children",


i felt so bad.
i guess the professor saw my eyes shouting objection without any voice.





he is right. he is.
probably i'm too emotional.







o.k.,


so where the prejudice of the Israeli toward Palestinian comes from?
is everything all right about the Israeli media?
if it is, so what's the problem?



i cannot know by myself now.
i just can understand Arabic and English at this point.
not only because of my language.
im bound on something.
still don know how to get out.





just hope i never gonna give up on the way.
hey, stick yourself on your adventurous dream, habibati.
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